Tag Archives: michancy

Been Through the Desert

The first few weekends of August are ones I spent in the desert. Both were nice chances to get out of the house and have what felt like normal times, even though we absolutely are not living in normal times.

First up, Vegas! It had been just under 2 years since the last trip we took all together, including Larry, as a group of friends. I had managed to wrangle up that group back then because I knew Larry was going to be having that massive surgery back at NYC and, I guess my gut was telling me you need to do this. That was a spectacular weekend back in August 2019, and I’m glad that Larry was able to have that kind of an outing before it all got really difficult. In that trip, there was 6 of us going and then of course meeting up with Michancy.

Anyway, I’ve been missing Vegas. I am certainly my mother’s son and gambling is in my blood. So, I just finally wanted to go again. It probably wasn’t the wisest time to go with Delta variant coming on strong, but I still just wanted to go. One thing I had to do was disperse some of mom’s ashes, so that was another reason for me to go. I’m not going to drive all that way to just turn around and come home.

I booked a swanky room at the Cosmopolitan (Larry & I had stayed there when we met up with Jon & Alyssa in Vegas in 2015 and loved it). I wasn’t sure if anyone else would be up for going, but I reached out to Maj as she’s truly the only other in the friend group who likes gambling as much as I do. Turns out she was able to go so that was the group! Small but fun.

Here’s where mom’s ashes are – they are where Harv’s ashes are too, so I’m hoping this helped with her spirit.

I had decided to make this a 3-day weekend, so I left Thursday afternoon. I got to Halloran Summit around 3:30pm, and that left about another hour before I pulled into the Cosmopolitan. Even though Vegas is not a ghost town, it’s still noticeably less crowded than if I had gone two years ago, even on Thursday. Which I’m completely fine with, as I hate when it’s overly crowded, especially with covid.

The room and the view were amazing. I decided to pay good $$ for this trip, so yeah, you get a pretty great view and room. Maj had made it right around the same time as me, but she stayed at the Tropicana, which is a bit away but still sort of walkable. She made it up and we had some drinks at the Chandelier Bar first and caught up. We then took an Uber downtown to where Michancy was waiting for us at this really cool sushi restaurant. It’s the Arts district there, and it was a nice way to do things as it’s otherwise very hard to get reservations at a lot of places spur of the moment. I also got to meet Michancy’s sister, Nova, and it was just a great night to start things off. Michancy dropped Maj and I back off at the Tropicana and we walked over to New York New York as that had the more fun casino. And we had a really great time at the blackjack table! That was my only good time with blackjack that entire trip! Happily, at midnight on Thursday, Nevada instituted a mask mandate indoors, so that made me have some relief. I was actually very happy to see lots of masks up even before that, but it was reassuring to have the mandate kick in while we were there.

The next day, we wandered over to the Linq and O’Shea’s to gamble and drink, and then we had lunch at a fun pizza place (with a cute waiter) and continued to drink. There was more gambling after, and then we all got ourselves collected to have dinner at Esther’s Kitchen, which was across the street from the sushi place we ate at the night before. Delicious food and hipster vibes (Larry would’ve loved it) and then we had ourselves a table at Piranha’s, a gay bar off strip. Oh yeah, before the club, we stopped by Michancy’s apartment, and that was the first time I’ve ever actually been to her place. Any of them, lol. We then drove and parked at Cosmopolitan and then took a Lyft to Pirahna’s. Needless to say that was a blast. We got there at 9:30 (Waaaayyy early for a club) but were there till about 2:30am and it was just so nice and fun to have our own section, our own alcohol, and space to dance without being too much around others.

After recovering a bit the next day, we had reservations for brunch at Mon Ami Gabi, which is basically a tradition at this point. What was cool was that while I didn’t bother trying to get an outdoor table, or even one in the sun room, we managed to get one as the inside table we did get needed to be added to a big party, and the manager not only comped us our first round of bloody mary’s but also got a swanky table in the sun room. We also saw Spike Lee there. It was a fun day. I ended up having a reallllllll good time at the craps tables at Paris Las Vegas – one time at the glass craps table (it’s an electronic table and you bet via a personal screen) and while I had been down there I kept playing because I just didn’t care, and holy shit, this one guy started rolling and I made all my money back. Once he left and others couldn’t roll, I stopped and cashed out, and while looking for Maj, I couldn’t find her, so I decided to go and play at a real craps table again, and holy shit, I rolled really good (and I had been having spectacularly bad rolls this trip) and then this guy to my left rolled INSANELY good. I had texted Maj to get over here and she managed to ride some of that wave too. Oh, craps can be so good when the rolling is right. Yeah, I had a good gambling time this trip. I choose to believe Larry and my mom were helping nudge the dice the right way. That evening we had reservations to Water Grill, which is where we all had dinner back in August 2019 too. It’s a delicious restaurant. Anyway, that evening I kind of wound down as it got really crowded as there were a few sporting events happening that night and on Sunday. It brought everyone in, and I was just ready to be done. It was a wonderful trip with Maj and Michancy. I am really wanting to go back, lol.

The next day was time to head home. I’m happy to have finally been back to Vegas and visit Michancy, and I don’t appear to have caught covid during my time there, and I want to head back there again soon. It’s fun to have a gambling buddy, and Maj is exactly that. So figuring out how to go back and have the right group is paramount.

The following weekend (August 6-8), I went out to Desert Hot Springs to celebrate Stacie’s birthday. She had got an AirBnb and invited a few family and friends over to stay and have fun. Two weekends in a row was admittedly exhausting, but at least in this case, once I got there, there was very little in having to move around again. In Vegas, I routinely was hitting 15k+ steps each day. That’s insanity. Here, there was a pool, there was air conditioned great room, and that was mainly it. We drank, we danced, we hung out in the pool, we cooked meals, and it was just a really wonderful time with this group. This will likely be Stacie’s last hurrah here in California, so it was meaningful. Her plan is to eventually get to Tennessee in the next few months, and I’m excited for her.

Now it’s August 15 and I spent this weekend at home and it was glorious. I did some needed cleaning of the bathrooms, grocery shopping, catching up on The White Lotus in advance of tonight’s season finale, and got the motivation to update the blog again. 2 times in a month? Don’t call it a comeback.

Ups and Downs

No doubt that this is a really hard time.   For me, for sure, but for everyone.   But yeah, I’ll say I’ve got a bit of an extra heaping of bullshit that can overwhelm me at times.   I had a bad Wednesday.  It was not good.  My friends helped me out of it.  I would like to say I’ll avoid getting into that mindset again, and I’ll certainly try – but that kind of feeling kind of is just hard to avoid 100% of the time.  Anyway, I guess that’s enough to let you know that I’m trying my best to keep going and I can do so because of my friends and certain parts of family.   Enough said I guess there.   I’m just going to post some fun pictures and tell some stories briefly about good things that have been going on, fun stuff I’ve been watching or playing, howza bout that?

Crossrope:  I added jumping rope to my exercise activities.   So in addition to my daily yoga (I’m up to 126 days straight! go me! Thanks Yoga with Adriene!) I now will either do some jump rope routine or I’ll do the Bodyboss band system.   Hopefully that’ll help in the long run.  I need the cardio and the strength training.

The jump ropes are really good and assist in making it easier.  I had bought some junky Amazon rope and it was totally the wrong length and material.  Anyway, here comes my swimsuit body, lolololol.

2 weekends ago (June 14), I met up with my PwC friends and coworkers out at Valley Village park in North Hollywood.   We were nicely outdoors and socially distanced, and it was great to see people again.   It was a really wonderful day, perfect weather, and we got to celebrate Mel’s engagement from the day before!  It was the first time I’d been out to a social gathering of any kind since the lockdown.  Crazy.

While at the park above, Mel & Josh (her great fiance) brought a cool Bose portable speaker.   I was jealous and bought one online right then and there as my roofdeck needs something and the Beats Pill that Larry had got so long ago back in Silver Lake as a way to get that AT&T phone extender is getting gross and totally dead.  So, problem solved.  I highly highly recommend it if you’re in the market.  The sound is fantastic, bluetooth, etc.

Very exciting recently was Michancy came down last weekend (June 18-21)!   I’ve missed her so much and it worked out for her to drive down and we indulged in drinking everything, watching all of Picard, playing Ticket to Ride, drinking more, inviting Nicki over for rooftop fun and games, cooking wonderful meals (filet mignon on Friday night, and spaghetti carbonara the next even though I had basically passed out after daydrinking, managed to wake up and motivate myself as I knew the ingredients were there and goddamn it came out good), playing Just Dance and burning off alcohol, and overall, just having a fantastic time with BFFs while the world continues it’s march to destruction.  YAYYYYYYY.

After Michancy left on Sunday, I admit I think it was hard to come back down to reality and be alone again.  Maybe that was why my Wednesday was so hard?   Combination of reality check, my mom isn’t doing that great and keeps falling (I ended up buying a whole new bed after I had already bought her a whole new bed when moving her in March), and I really really miss Larry still.  I’d give anything to have him be here to get through all this with – whether it’s the pandemic, the issues with mom, my resentment of a lot of my family, the political nightmare that is our presidency…any one of those things would be enough to justify my alcohol consumption, but all of them at once?  And the fact i’m still grieving Larry and stuck alone for most of it?   It’s hard.   The good times pre- his final descent are what keep me smiling, but I can remember those last 3 months vividly and it wrecks me.  What he went through and to witness it.  It’s just fucking not fair and I fucking hate everything at times. Most times, really.

My friends talked me from the ledge Wednesday and on Thursday, as we had a nice zoom call and I can’t tell you how much I love them.   We’ll get through this all together.  I think Nicki probably recognized that maybe I might need some friendship and I recognize I do, so I invited her over this weekend to hang out, so we did.   It was a fun day and a half – we hung out and enjoyed the roof deck yesterday and I introduced her to the game of Mastermind, which is an old favorite my mom and I used to play way back in the day.  It’s a classic, and perfect for 2 players.  Then we watched two seasons of Search Party and damn, that show is something else.   It’s funny as hell and I love the characters, but it is a show that goes to some surprisingly dark places and there’s really no way it doesn’t continue to get darker.  The 3rd season is out now, so I guess we’ll be able to catch up.  We also watched a super fun movie on Netflix:

Eurovision, ABBA, Will Farrell, Rachel McAdams… hot Russian backup dancers and promises of even more great European songs?  I was in long before this came out, but holy shit, the final product is fantastic.   I really liked that it didn’t make fun of Eurovision – the original songs are like, really good.  Anyway, Jaja Ding Dong!

For dinner last night, we made Larry’s arroz con pollo recipe and it really is just a stupendous dish and it was nice to make that, hopefully with Larry smiling in satisfaction somewhere out there.

What else have I been watching or doing?

  • Detroit: Become Human – I heard about this game by seeing a picture of this cute guy from it and because i apparently can’t help but be distracted by hot guys, I read into it.  Saw a sale for it on Steam, bought it, and wow, I’ve been so entranced by the game.  So much fun, and I find myself playing it far longer than I probably should some nights.   It’s a cool story game about androids gaining sentience, and the androids are of course all attractive.   Anyway, I Heart Connor forever and always. 
  • Twin Peaks: The Return: I’ve raved about this plenty before, and it’s just so good getting to the end section The Return.  Still hard to believe Larry & I went to Seattle and did a Twin Peaks day just after the conclusion of the show.
  • Control:  A really cool videogame about the ultimate terrible office building filled with possessed-by-demons humans and you have the only way of defeating it.  Trippy environments and a relatable protagonist help make this a really fun play.   Occasional challenging to the point I have to walk away and think about it.
  • Anno 1800:  This game is just gonna be an always-playing situation for a while.  It’s so good and mesmerizing.  I’m nowhere near done or at the endgame, which is what it’s all about.

Anyway, I guess that’s it.   Maybe I’ll update more often – maybe that will help my emotional state.

Michancy Visited

This past weekend obviously was focused on Larry’s memorial, and to be able to make it through that without losing my mind, Michancy came down and stayed with me for the weekend.  She finally got to stay in the guest room too!

The visit was wonderful – she flew in on Thursday evening to Burbank Airport (yay!), and on Friday I took the day off so we could hang out.   We swung by a dispensary to stock up, and for the first time in a long while, I smoked some weed.  And if you just manage to pace yourself, it’s amazing.   We just hung out and watched TV (I was inspired to watch MacGruber because of the “Unspooled” podcast – very dumb movie, but still hilarious;  we also watched the first episode of Picard and it was very very good.  Again, I’m so pissed Larry wasn’t able to see it), and then that night, we sat out on the patio and drank, smoked weed, and had a dance party.   Every Friday night should be so chill.

On Saturday, the chilling continued.  We watched Looper that morning, and having not seen it since 2012, I had forgotten how fucking gREAT it is.  Rian Johnson is a helluva storyteller.  Also watched Across the Universe that evening as I was in the mood for some Julie Taymor Beatles fun, although even though it’s a spectacle, the story really is just kinda dumb.   The performances of the songs really are what make the movie.

Sunday was obviously the memorial, and then afterward when we got back, we just relaxed some more and watched some ST:TNG episodes, and watched one that was relevant to Picard, “The Measure of a Man”.  TNG is a good series, but I just couldn’t watch it as much as Larry could.   I have started listening to the podcast Larry loved, “Star Trek: The Next Conversation”, as they talked about the first episode of Picard.  I ended up writing them a message letting them know about Larry’s death as he had been an occasional mention on the show and each time that happened, Larry just got so happy.

Anyway, I’m so glad to have spent this weekend with Michancy.  Never a dull moment, and she indulged my wine drinking, so yay me.

The Battle is Over

We came back to the hospital in the morning, bringing Michancy with us this time.  She had ended up staying home on Monday (day drinking, eating, Netflix watching).  When we got there, Larry’s levels were improving but it was still a struggle. He had a bit more lucidness but there was still a lot of confusion.  Mila and Sveta came out for the day as well.  Dr Weinberg was who was able to come and consult, and we learned what we basically knew what was coming – Larry’s not going to recover or continue his treatment.  He is going to die.  Within weeks.  It is not a surprise to hear these words, but to say that my heart didn’t get ripped out regardless would be a lie.  We spent a lot of time that day with him, rotating in the room as only 2 are allowed at a time in the ICU.  Mila brought bagels and nosh, Sveta brought Xanax, and it was time for us to grieve and cry in the waiting room.  I’m writing this from Thursday (the 26th), so I have a bit of a detachment from the day just because of time and the interim moments we’ve had, but it was a horrible day.  Dr Weinberg sent a recommendation for hospice care, and we started that process going.  It seems like that will be a wonderful comfort as they will take care of quite a lot.  He will not have pain, and he will be surrounded by love.  As the day progressed and his levels continued to stabilize, his awareness was better.  He did ask what Fran and I talked about with Dr Weinberg, and I had to tell the love of my life that he no longer had any options and we were going to go home to live out the rest of his days. I had to tell him he was going to die.

Mila and Sveta both left after 3-4 hours, but it was wonderful they were there.  Michancy remained as she’s staying with us, and she and I were able to be there for each other.  We did not have  anyone stay over that night as it just isn’t really a helpful thing.  So we all headed back to home that night, and we ate leftovers from our dinner the previous night that we ordered from a nearby-to-the-hospital Izzy’s Deli, which was chicken soup, a French dip sandwich, and other leftover food.  That night at home, the 4 of us sat at the dining table and looked through pictures and told stories, laughing and crying.  Michancy and I also drank far more wine than we should have – but it was cathartic.  Larry will never be forgotten and has had an impact in so many lives.

End of the Thanksgiving Weekend

We had a nice morning – Michancy helped us to file for Full Disability for Larry.   Also talked with her about establishing a trust, which may be necessary although we have most big things shared already.  I think having our wills in place is important, but we are going to look into maybe talking to a trust attorney.  Alas, Michancy was flying back today, and hopefully it’s less stressful this time than coming in.  I dropped her off at Burbank just now, and there was a great amount of traffic but most of it was Uber and Lyft as there were a TON of people arriving today.  Dropping off was easy.

Once back, then Nicki came over as did Jon & Alyssa with the girls.   It was a lot of fun.   First, Nicki & I played a game of Santorini, and I think I got her hooked. I won.  We then watched, via Nicki’s Sony Screeners app, the latest Charlie’s Angels movie, which honestly, just wasn’t all that good.  But free!   It was a tough day though, as Alyssa and I talked about things at a much more visceral level.  If Larry dies, I think it’s agreed he’ll be buried back east.  I hope I can get a space near him. Had a wonderful time though overall, and Jon & Alyssa made us all dinner.  At night, Larry & I got to watch the latest Watchmen, and goddamn that show is amazing.

It’s currently the end of Thanksgiving weekend, and it’s been a whirlwind.  In a good way.