Mar 24, 2011, Ep 5: “If I’m Meant to Die Out Here on the Race, Then I’ll Die!”

The Amazing Race 18 Secret Scenes, Episode 5:  “If I’m Meant to Die Out Here on the Race, Then I’ll Die!”

Which team member pronounced that quote while suffering an unaired medical emergency?  Just how happy are the Globetrotters (pictured) for surviving this leg and in the pantheon of all their legs, where does this last one fall?  Did Jaime & Cara really have a shot at all or did they have even more taxi trouble than we saw?  And Phil stirs the dormant embers of the old Margie/Luke vs Kisha/Jen feud from Season 14!  Read on for all the details!

Extra Race Footage

Featured Team: Margie & Luke

Margie’s Long Night:  On their train ride away from Lijiang, Margie is hunched over while sitting in her bunk.  She figures that there’s about two and a half feet of vertical space in each bunk and there’s six bunks in the room with seven people sleeping there.  It’s going to be crowded.  The next morning as they’re getting ready to disembark, Margie lets us know that during the eight-hour train ride, there were two babies crying on and off all night.  Luke wasn’t phased obviously but Margie didn’t get much sleep.  It’s been a long night and she can’t wait just to get off the train.

Featured Team: Zev & Justin

Feeling Better:  As Zev & Justin speed away from the dinosaur Roadblock, Zev proudly praises Justin’s dinosaur construction abilities.  He’s also relieved because they know they’ve left before Jaime & Cara and Jaime is nowhere near done.  Their last two Roadblock performances haven’t been good but they’ve managed to survive. Zev is glad he didn’t do this one as he isn’t sure he would have been able to separate the pieces if they had gotten stuck.  Justin confirms that it was a pretty rough challenge and easy to miss the details.  Zev points out that Justin did lose to Big Easy, although Justin admits he lost to pretty much everyone.

Zev tells us that his strategy in supporting Justin during the challenge was to give a few compliments, but not to overdo it.  He hates when people talk to him while he’s trying to do something as it gets frustrating.  Zev hopes it was helpful and Justin admits it was, but the challenge definitely frustrated him.  As their tram drives through the Stone Forest, Zev admits that if you’re ever in China, this is definitely a place to check out.  Although they don’t speak English here.

Featured Team: Kent & Vyxsin

Won:  Kent & Vyxsin are on the Stone Forest tram and Kent is a little annoyed because when they asked Ron & Christina for some translation help, they were pretty much ignored.  So when Christina was nosing around looking for help when assembling the dinosaur, Kent did absolutely nothing to aid her.  If Christina had helped them earlier, he might have provided her some assistance, but not now.

Featured Team: Ron & Christina

Taking Off:  Ron & Christina are at a cultural festivity of some sort that included some dancing which Christina did most of because Ron admits he doesn’t really dance.  Christina was interested in coming to this since they had almost six hours to kill before their train left Lijiang.  Ron is thrilled to have more time to spend with Christina before she gets married.  Both of them learned from their last race that if they don’t spend some quality time getting a mental break from the race, their performance degrades.  Christina believes that this break will rejuvenate them and help them succeed.

Featured Team: Ron & Christina

Uncomfortable Night:  Like Margie & Luke explained before, Ron & Christina just spent eight hours on pretty much the hardest and most uncomfortable bunk ever while taking the train.  Additionally the rooms had music getting pumped in automatically until 10pm and couldn’t be switched off manually.  They ended up with the top bunk and it had less room than the other bunks.  Factor in with that a lot of loud and boisterous neighbors on the train and it ended up being a long night.

Featured Team: Flight Time & Big Easy

Work It Out:  While in their cab, Flight Time debates with Big Easy over the fact that if they are grouped up with four other teams, there’s no reason for them to end up behind them at challenges.  They’re able to outrun and outperform any other team so making critical mistakes like they did at the flower market and ending up near the bottom isn’t acceptable.  Big Easy starts to feel like Flight Time is blaming him for them coming in near the bottom in the last leg but Flight Time reassures him it’s just that he wants them to race smarter and stay with the pack.

Featured Team: Jaime & Cara

Once More Taxi:  As Jaime & Cara sit in their taxi headed to the Pit Stop, they bemoan the fact that they can’t catch a break with a taxi.  They figure they’re likely going to get eliminated as there’s no discernible reason why the traffic they’re in isn’t moving.  There’s even people walking around.  A chorus of horns can be heard but still the car doesn’t move forward.  They notice that their lane has now been blocked off  behind them so they ask the driver if they can back up and change lanes.  Unfortunately the driver has no idea what they’re saying as he doesn’t speak English.  A few moments later, Cara laughs as they can’t even get to the Pit Stop to get eliminated as the Chinese traffic won’t let them get there.  By this point, Jaime & Cara just want to get there and be done with it.

Featured Team: Kisha & Jen

Kisha Needs Oxygen:  Kisha is breathing with the assistance of an oxygen line into her nose because when she was on the Lijiang mountain she felt her chest tighten up.  Kisha thinks it could be her asthma acting up but she hasn’t had to use her inhaler in a while so she really isn’t sure what the problem is.  Jen leans in to check in on her and find out how she’s doing.  As Kisha continues to get treatment in the ambulance, Jen tells us that Kisha doesn’t use her inhaler as she doesn’t do much activity, at least until now.  With a grin, Jen admits that she won’t let Kisha stop and even Kisha herself has decided that if this is the way she was meant to die, then she’ll die.  Jen is confident that Kisha will be fine though.  As a former resident of Colorado, I can definitely confirm that high altitude can definitely take some getting used to.

Featured Team: Gary & Mallory

Mallory Says a Prayer:  Gary & Mallory are riding in a cab and Mallory explains that she understands why Jaime & Cara had to U-Turn someone and why it was the Globetrotters.  In a final three scenario, the Globetrotters could definitely beat them.  Mallory had thought about U-Turning the Cowboys or Globetrotters but couldn’t bring herself to do it as she’d rather just race it out.  She’d like to keep it positive too as it’s been a tough race so far and if you get mentally beaten down, it’s game over.  Gary chimes in that he’d hate to see the Globetrotters go but Mallory is confident they’ll be fine.  She even shoots a quick prayer to make sure that the Globetrotters get some heavenly assistance.  She recognizes that it’s a bit silly to do so as she’s giggling through her prayer.  Gary appreciates the levity that the Globetrotters bring as it’s a much needed antidote to the stress of the race.

Featured Team: Gary & Mallory, Jet & Cord

Home Sweet Home:  Mallory tells us from her top bunk that every single team is on the train from Lijiang, even Kent & Vyxsin.  You can see she’s a bit frustrated by that as she recognizes that everyone is back on a level playing field once again.  It’s also just been a tough endurance race as they really haven’t slept well in at least three nights, according to Gary’s estimate.  Mallory just hates how dirty she feels since she hasn’t had a shower in forever.  Jet & Cord agree that it’s been tough and almost disorienting as it’s getting hard to remember where it is you are.  Plus their imposing cowboy hats have been putting off the local Chinese and making them nervous.

Mallory was thrilled to have had some fun at the basketball game.  The national anthem was sung, there was halftime dancers, and Cord even got to provide the assist for the win.  Cord won’t take too much praise from Mallory as he admits his wife has taught him quite a bit about basketball.  Mallory asks Jet where he got his basketball skills from but he denies even having any such skills.  She thinks their basketball skills are much better than her yak-riding skills.  Mallory thought she had picked the old, stable yak but when she passed by Cord, he warned her that she needed to be careful as she had the young one. 

At the Pit Stop

Featured Team: Jaime & Cara (last place)

Deja vu:  Phil figures the Roadblock was their undoing but Jaime explains that the problems started long before that.  First it was their taxi just getting there, and then it was stopping for gas just like in Hawaii on their first race.  They even ended up with a new driver at one point.  Jaime & Cara both realize that there’s just nothing else that can be done after a certain point.  There’s only so much “go, go, go” you can say.  With all those travel headaches, they ended up losing their lead over the Globetrotters as well as anyone else who had been behind them.

Phil asks how they got along throughout the race.  Cara thinks they were fine for the most part but admits that there were of course times, just like last time, when she knew she had to bite her tongue.  It was to avoid any unnecessary drama but other than that, there was nothing else to work out between the two of them.  Cara agrees with Phil in that there will be lots of good memories from this experience, as a lot of the tasks were definite highlights.  Cara loved the sailing in Australia and the scuba compass hunt while Jaime liked riding the yak as she loves animals.  Overall there were no regrets.

Featured Teams: Ron & Christina, Zev & Justin (seventh & eighth place)

Exhilarating Torture:  Phil asks if Justin is alright as he looks exhausted.  Justin admits that’s the case as this leg was not one of his shining moments.  He explains what happened at the dinosaur Roadblock with the stuck joints and declares it a tough leg.  Zev adds that Justin also smells bad.  Phil tells them that they should be proud and also thinks Ron & Christina should be proud too.  Ron agrees as Christina was tenacious in getting the dinosaur put together.  She didn’t let the fact that they got their first but watched other teams come in and beat them get her down.

Justin chimes in that his & Zev’s troubles began the moment they left Ron & Christina’s side.  Obviously from what we saw on the show, Christina was probably not sad about that happening!  Zev is happy that it ended the way it started, with them following Ron & Christina in to the Pit Stop.  Phil notices that Christina does seem to be in a good mood.  She tells him that even though it was discouraging to see other teams start to leave, you can’t give up.  Ron was supportive though and the experience this leg was like exhilarating torture.  Phil loves that description and thinks it’s a great subtitle for the show.  

Featured Team: Flight Time & Big Easy (sixth place)

Double U-Turn That:  Phil brings up the U-Turn and asks how the Globetrotters took the news.  Big Easy tells Phil it wasn’t a huge surprise nor a big deal as he figured it would happen and that the Redheads would do it.  They knocked out the challenge easily and then passed the Redheads on the road as they had a great taxi driver.  Big Easy is certain that good things happen to good people and karma, brains and brawn all contributed to a good leg.  In fact, Flight Time & Big Easy think that this may have been their best leg in either of their two races.  Even when their taxi was stolen, they found the best taxi driver they’ve ever had.

Featured Team: Kent & Vyxsin (fifth place)

The Comeback Goths:  Kent & Vyxsin do a dance of joy after surviving such a rough leg.  Despite their disastrous drive to Tokyo, Kent had his PMA (Positive Mental Attitude) going the whole time despite Vyxsin nearly losing it and thinking about his dad.  He held on to the PMA and here they are now and the albatross of a time penalty is gone.  Phil is positive that Kent’s dad would be proud of him as Kent took the time to be detail-oriented and persevere with optimism.

Featured Team:  Kisha & Jen (fourth place)

Done For Now:  Kisha & Jen have had it with virtual Pit Stops and are letting Phil know it.  Jen swears if Phil says they have to keep racing, that’s it.  Phil happily reassures them that they do get to rest finally.  Kisha is relieved and Jen admits she’s most excited about getting a shower.   Kisha wants to pull the thorns from the dinosaur Roadblock out of her shoes as the pain is killing her.  Phil asks them to assess the other teams.  Jen thinks Ron & Christina are obviously strong in these last two legs as well as the fact that they’ve helped each other throughout the leg too.  Kisha gives credit to Gary & Mallory as well as Jet & Cord.  Jen thinks the Cowboys must have learned to saddle dilophosaurus in addition to cattle as they blew through that challenge.

Featured Team: Margie & Luke (third place)

Hitting Their Stride:  Phil reminds Margie & Luke that The Amazing Race is tough.  Margie agrees because both she & Luke were caught off-guard on the first two legs as they had forgotten how difficult the race is.  Five legs in they finally have their head truly in the game and they’re hitting their stride as they’ve had a first and third place finish in the last two legs.  Phil asks Luke if he’s still proud of his mom and he of course agrees.  From the last race to this one, Margie has continued to prove how strong she is.  Phil wants to know if it’s okay for him to call Margie the Bionic Woman.  Luke accepts that.

Margie evaluates the other teams and considers Zev & Justin, the Cowboys, and the Globetrotters very strong teams.  Phil asks about the relationship with Kisha & Jen as he knows that they’ve made up in the interim since the last race.  Margie & Luke are completely fine with them and think Kisha & Jen are wonderful.  In fact they even helped them as while traveling, Margie headed towards a McDonald’s since it was a familiar site.  At the same time they flagged Kisha & Jen to go the right direction.  Turns out that Kisha & Jen managed to beat Margie & Luke to the Stone Forest so Margie actually laughs and wonders if she should stop helping. 

Featured Team: Gary & Mallory (second place)

Still Smiling:  Phil is amazed that Mallory is still in a good mood.  Mallory admits it was hard especially when their taxis kept leaving them, but she persevered.  Concerning Gary & Mallory’s relationship, they admit that they’re having to focus on good communication but it’s been good so far.  Phil reminds them that he warned them at the beginning of the race that second chances don’t come easy.  Although Phil bets it felt good to use the Express Pass today, which Gary & Mallory readily agree with.  Phil points out that the challenge would have been difficult for them as Mallory has a height disadvantage while Gary has a bit of an age handicap.  They’re happy to have used it and remain in the race, even if they didn’t win this leg.  They’ll settle for the final prize rather than some small leg prize.  Gary is especially happy to get some much-needed rest and get into a clean change of clothes.  Mallory lets Phil know that he’s safe only because he didn’t tell them to keep racing.

After the Race

Featured Team: Flight Time & Big Easy

Globetrotters Survive:  Flight Time anticipates that they’re going to be in the front of the pack now so they hopefully won’t have to deal with things like a Double U-Turn.  The fact that they finished in sixth and not in last place is a testament to their competitiveness.  He had joked with Phil at the mat that he considered trading Big Easy in for some of the more attractive girls like the Redheads or Jen & Kisha but he’s glad he kept with him.  Big Easy admits he’s still thinking about trading Flight Time out for Mallory though.   Concerning the race, Big Easy is aware that you can’t blame factors like a U-Turn or the Express Pass on your own performance.  You have to put up or shut up, basically.  Big Easy figures that the other teams have seen that the Globetrotters can’t be beat by a U-Turn so they’ll think twice about doing it to them again.

Featured Team:  Jet & Cord

Cowboys on Top:  Jet remembers that in their last leg, they struggled a lot in Asia.  Cord mumbles humorously to ask Jet if they’re still in Asia.  Jet realizes he isn’t sure why they have these problems nor how it came to be that they won this leg.  Cord thinks that the leader board constantly changes because when everyone is smashed together in a leg, the slightest slip-up will allow another team to slip right on by.  Both Jet & Cord felt that the intensity level of the race was ratcheted up two notches when they got off the train in China.

Featured Team: Kent & Vyxsin

A Day of Redemption:  Kent explains that this round of The Amazing Race was always dedicated to his dad, who was extremely supportive of them the first time and was the one who drove them to the airport the first time.  He just felt that his dad has been part of the race this time in some way or another and because of that, Kent has felt bad because they’ve done so poorly thus far.  Finally today was a day of redemption and allowed them to erase a lot of their previous screw-ups.  They even managed to survive a levied penalty.  Kent is sure his dad is very proud wherever he may be.

Vyxsin has been inspired by how calm Kent has remained when Vyxsin has been on the edge of losing it.  Despite nearly losing they never gave up and Vyxsin is sure that Kent’s dad is proud of Kent’s unstoppable optimism.  His dad was very similar in his attitude and Vyxsin knows that Kent got his spirit from him. 

Phil’s Video Diary

Episode 5 – Kunming, China:  Phil is at the solar panel Detour challenge and is trying to get his wording right as to whether it’s the “solar panel Detour side” or “the side of the Detour with the solar panels.”  Up on the roof Phil asks how Barry the Sound Guy is doing and all he gets in response is a thumbs up as Barry has lost his voice.  Phil hopes he doesn’t catch whatever Barry has as if he loses his voice, that will not be good. 

The next morning Phil is in a van having been driven for the last few hours.  Barry peaks his head in to ask what they’re doing but Phil turns the camera on him and points out that Barry looks like a babushka with his hood on.  Barry admits he actually does come from babushkas.  Phil notices that his voice is coming back and Barry reassures him that is the case although the rest of the crew may be disappointed.

Two hours later, they’re driving to the Stone Garden to film Phil’s time-lapse shot of the dinosaur skeleton being assembled.  Phil is excited to see how the competition plays out as right now all the teams are going to be playing for keeps.

Hobie Barnes now lives in Santa Monica, California after enjoying the hectic Manhattan life for 3.5 years.  When not busy fighting the 405 and 101 freeways on the commute to Burbank, he is patiently waiting for an Amazing Race or Survivor scout to cast him!  He can be reached at <a href=””></a>.


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