Survivor One World Ep 2 – Total Dysfunction

Episode from 22 Feb 2012

It really shouldn’t take me a week to write these, but I get preoccupied and read a bunch of other stuff and then I all of a sudden remember, there are pictures of hot guys to post and THAT is reason enough to write something about this episode.   So to get us started, here is a picture of Michael and Jay.  Yowza.

The main thrust (hehe, I said thrust) of this episode seemed to continue the highlighting of this group of women being unable to get their shit together.  Before we got the Survivor theme song, Christina and Alicia had a meeting to try to get over their contentious Tribal Council.  It went well on the surface, but as Alicia pointed out to us, she is still firmly anti-Christina.  This stubbornness only serves to highlight what an idiot Alicia is.  Alicia’s only real friend thus far is Kat, who is not only young but quite arrogant and seemingly immature.  “I wanna go find stuff!” — “I don’t want to scout for things” — “I don’t do things unless I know I can succeed at them”…..UGH.  She’s such a waste of oxygen.  To go on an old man rant, I think that this reluctance to do things out of your comfort zone is nothing new, but it certainly seems to be much more amplified in today’s world of “everyone’s a winner.”  When Jeff pulled that admission from Kat at Tribal Council, I couldn’t imagine signing your own death warrant so easily as she just had.  Alas, I was wrong.

Maybe I was misguided or rooting for the underdog, but I hoped that Nina was going to pull off an upset.  The five-woman alliance that had been initiated in the first episode between the “young-ins” was already being noticed by its members that it wasn’t something they still wanted.  The pretty young girls of the alliance, Chelsea & Kimberly, looked to be thinking twice about voting off Nina.  Chelsea was being portrayed as almost unwilling to vote for Nina as it made no game sense when there was someone as idiotic and challenge-sabotagey as Kat getting kept instead.  Yet the power of that alliance held sway.

What we witnessed was typical Survivor fear – better the alliance you know than the one that could be.  No one knows for sure if an alliance with Nina, Monica & Christina would be a better thing than sticking with the younger group, but honestly, I think you’d have to be an idiot to keep your wagons hitched to either Kat or Alicia.  I can’t imagine anyone is in doubt over Alicia’s attitude and demeanor nor did anyone miss how pathetic Kat was at the challenge.  I think an ideal new 5-woman alliance would be if Sabrina, Chelsea, & Kimberly team up with Monica and Christina.  They all seem to have their priorities straight and if they could unburden themselves from Alicia’s irritability and irrationality as well as Kat’s incompetence, they could potentially last a while.  As it is now though, they could be doomed to a Ulonging.  Possibly worse, as at least in the beginning, Ulong actually won a few challenges.  I had to post a picture of Nina for you – that poor woman really didn’t recover in time for her face to ever look normal after her face plant in the first immunity challenge.  This picture is actually much nicer than what she immediately looked like – now that was some messed-up shit.

As for other parts of the show, we got even more on crazy Colton, the wildly gay Survivor this season.  Oy.  He’s definitely a handsome guy, but there is no way that his personality is really the way he’s showing it to be on TV.  It’s such a caricature of an effeminate gay, and to me, is ludicrously embarrassing and almost offensive.  There are definitely all types of gays out there, and I’m welcoming of all types.  I’m not the effeminate type, but get between me and my Madonna or Lady Gaga and there will be problems.  I’ll cut a bitch.  🙂  But Colton is unreal.  I understand why the women exiled him from their camp and why the men don’t trust him.  You can’t read him, but that thing alone has helped his game, completely incidentally, because Sabrina had to give away the idol she found and she only knew Colton.  Of course she had no idea how obnoxious he could be, but it is what it is.  That power of course led to the only part of the show with Colton in it that made me not want to scream, which was the possible formation of the male “Misfit” (or was it Outcast?) alliance.  Not that I want to see the hot guys voted off the island, far from it, but could they be any douchier?

Why couldn’t Matt or Michael or Jay be even the slightest bit…..cool?  Yes, they’re ridiculously hot, but seriously, they’re shooting for Douche of the Year award and they’re heading for the win!  I guess Michael is well aware that Colton has the Idol, so I’m not sure if Colton’s impromptu alliance actually has any feet.  Will the Bros anticipate this happening and figure out a way to route the votes to result in an outcome where they stay intact?  Don’t know.  Don’t even know if it matters as if the women can’t pull it together to win a challenge, it won’t matter.  I did like how the challenges were definitely tailored to allow anyone to win and still the men dominated.  I was hoping for more homoerotic tension on the balance beam Immunity Challenge, but alas, the closest we got was Colton’s (successful) gropefest (“HOLD ME”).  Though at the end, I think it was Matt and Michael who had a huggy moment.  Didn’t linger though, so alas, these guys all seem to be straight.  Feh.

Prediction Time:

Is it even possible now to predict anything?  Well, let’s try.

Voted out Next (Men):  Colton will be the natural vote if the guys are unaware of Colton’s idol.  If the bounceback occurs, I think Matt is the first voted out.  If the HotGuyCabal can play smart, they’ll probably vote out Tarzan or SushiChef.

Voted out Next (Women):  I wish the alliance would break up and reform without Alicia or Kat.  If the alliance doesn’t reform, then Christina is next out.  That sucks, as I like her.  If alliance does reform, then Kat is gone.

Who Could Win, at this point:  No real clue.  I guess Sabrina at the moment, as I like her the most out of all the cast so far.  She has a brain and wants to win, although I have to wonder why she didn’t seem to be part of the discussion to vote out Kat instead of Nina.  Maybe she’s tight with Alicia and Kat?  If so, I disavow this statement.

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