Apr 4, 2012, Ep 6: Rachel Explains it All

The Amazing Race 20 Secret Scenes, Episode 6:  Rachel Explains It All

Are you ready for your 2-week Amazing Race drought to end?  Luckily, Rachel is here in these secret scenes to explain how (not) to pronounce Azerbaijan as well as breaking down the power structure amongst the teams.  If you’ve paying attention so far, Vanessa is definitely not Rachel’s favorite and is part of “The Plastics”, that group of everyone she hates.  Luckily for Rachel, this leg she also finds out she has an unlikely fan from her Big Brother days (hint: pictured with Rachel here).   For these moments along with Phil accusing JJ of some (not so) shocking behavior at the Pit Stop, read on!

Extra Race Footage

Featured Team:  Art & JJ

Art & JJ’s List of Names:  While driving in Bavaria, Art tells us that they call Vanessa & Ralph “Conan & Kardashian” since he’s huge like Conan and she resembles the Kardashians, although she’s prettier.  Kim Kardashian’s marriage to Kris Humphries was fresh in their minds when they bestowed that nickname on them.  JJ admits he’s embarrassed he actually knew that bit of celebrity trivia.  Art continues with other nicknames:  the green team (Brendon & Rachel) they call Rapala, since she looks like a fish lure and Rapala makes those;  the teachers;  the Jersey guidos or the East Coast boys;  Major Dave & Rachel; and finally, the Kentucky Boys.  No longer around are the Hawaiians, the Clowns, and the Twins.  JJ reminds him that there also was the Repugnant Mississippi Girls, which he also calls the team that they dislike greatly.  JJ claims that all the remaining teams snuck out of their hotel rooms last night to celebrate that the Mississippi girls were gone.

Featured Team:  Art & JJ

The Bigger Picture for Art & JJ:   Before the leg’s start in Bavaria, JJ talks about the fact that winning the race and $500K would propel his family into financial security for the next 10-15 years.  He and his wife just adopted a baby boy and she wants to stay home with the baby even though she has her own business.  The joy he’s seen in his wife and son is worth all the work to win the prize.  Art explains that he’s racing for the money because his son is going to be out of high school soon and he wants to be able to pay for any school that his son wants to go to.  He’d also love to pay off his house and provide the ability for his wife not to have to work.  They would also like to easily afford to travel to where their son plays collegiate sports.

Featured Team:  Vanessa & Ralph

Mo Money, Mo Problems:   In Azerbaijan, Vanessa & Ralph discuss if the taxi driver will take Euros.  After unsuccessfully trying to ask the driver in English, Vanessa & Ralph bicker a bit on how to organize their current stockpile of US dollars.  Ralph gets frustrated as Vanessa encourages him to be subtle about handling their money and use common sense so that he’s not showing off all the money they have.  He parcels out a portion of it and stuffs it in his bag while keeping some in hand, enough to hopefully pay for the cab.

Ralph gets snippy with Vanessa after she continues to tell him to be cautious, so he finally tells her to lay off.  She can’t believe he’s going to start a fight at this moment while he can’t believe she isn’t giving him any credit for being discreet with their money.  Ralph decides to move on and tells her he wants to talk to the driver to see if he’ll drive faster.  Vanessa openly mocks this idea which of course pisses Ralph off, so he gives up.  She doesn’t understand how he’s going to communicate with the driver when it’s clear he doesn’t speak English and it seems like they’re going pretty fast.  

Vanessa wants to know why Ralph is acting this way and if it’s because he’s hungry or tired.  Ralph wishes she would stop talking so he could get a word in.  She’s not fond of his tone and tells him he needs to cheer the f*#k up because she’s not dealing with his mood the entire leg.  Ralph responds that there is no tone and he’s done everything she asked, but this rebuttal only reinforces what she sees as him being pissy.  Vanessa points out that he still hasn’t done what she wanted concerning the fact that their money is all in one lump of cash.  Ralph decides then that they’ll switch fanny packs and she can hold the money.  She of course refuses to switch and promises to shoot him.  Ralph doesn’t understand where this is coming from and Vanessa tells him that he needs to reduce his tone of voice towards her.

Ralph is fighting a losing battle here but doesn’t realize that until he apologizes, any tone of voice will piss her off.  Vanessa declares that until he speaks to her like a human being, she doesn’t want to talk to him.  Ralph points out that she just wants to pick a fight.  He again tells her that he did as she requested concerning the money and Vanessa reminds him that if the cab driver sees a huge wad of cash, he’ll want more.  They haggle and bicker over how else to split up the money and putting some in a different pocket satisfies Vanessa.  

Featured Team:  Brendon & Rachel

No Mean Girls for Rachel:   In Germany, Rachel tells us that she & Brendon really like Bopper & Mark and Nary & Jamie as they’ve all helped each other out willingly in the race thus far.  Vanessa & Ralph are definitely not friends of Rachel & Brendon as they’re negative and talk smack.  They’re also not friends with Dave & Rachel or Art & JJ either.  Rachel compares those three teams they’re not friends with to “the Plastics” from Mean Girls, as they think they’re popular and well-loved, but they’re just the mean girl clique.   Those teams aren’t nice and talk about you behind your back.  Brendon explains that they’re just very fake and although they come into the Pit Stop all smiles, out on the race course they’re jerks and a bit obnoxious.  It’s not easy to separate the behavior on the race versus the behavior shown during rest periods.

Featured Team:  Nary & Jamie

Tight Lipped “Teachers”:   At the airport terminal, Nary explains that in their career field there are a variety of personalities, from the arrogant to people like them to somewhere in the middle.  The reason they didn’t tell any of the other teams about their profession is because it wouldn’t be clear what kind of people Nary & Jamie are.  Art & JJ were immediately pegged as cops, but no one is close to figuring out that she & Jamie are agents too.  She regrets having to lie about it and wouldn’t be surprised when the others do find out about it they hate them even more.  Nary, I don’t think anyone cares as you & Jamie are not really doing that well!

Jamie clarifies that there is a lot about them as people and as women and that they don’t want to be defined by others just by what their career path is.  There’s no need for them to gloat about what they do all day because at the end of the day, Jamie is still Jamie and Nary is still Nary.  Enough!  No one cares, and I think they need to get over this self-imposed stigma.  Their race wouldn’t change at all if everyone knew what they really did, and as long as they were genuine with people, that’s all that matters.  Jamie brings up her clearance again, and it’s clear to me that they think their specialness would just be too overwhelming for the others.  Jamie explains they don’t brag about their positions as it’s not who they are, although they certainly do so in these videos!  Nary laughs that the only stuff they brag about is getting to sleep during school nap times.  

Featured Team:  Bopper & Mark

Mark’s Offer:   While driving in Germany, Mark tells us that they came back from the dead during the last leg.  He knows that the other teams were already throwing dirt on them and figured they were a lost cause.  Mark equates their comeback to Michael Jackson’s Thriller video as they came out of the ground like zombies.  He’s pumped now and tells Bopper that if they win, he’s taking Bopper’s whole family to Myrtle Beach for at least a weekend.  Bopper thinks that’s a pretty nice gesture and Mark assures him that it’s necessary just so they can get away.  Bopper can shut his shop down for a day or two, which Mark thinks is the best thing about being self-employed.  Bopper agrees and explains that he can’t wait to get back and get his hands all greasy.  Yet the first thing he’s going to do upon getting back is to hug his youngin.  Mark agrees with that and looks forward to a tear-filled group hug with his family.  He doesn’t know how his family is even functioning without him, as his family even told him that before he left:  “What are we going to do?”  Yikes.  I hope they are okay for 30 days without him!

Featured Team:  Rachel & Dave

Rachel & Dave React to Baku:   In their Azerbaijan cab from the airport, Dave admits he’s not sure if the cab driver knows where to go.  There had no hand in choosing the cab driver as it was a first-come, first-serve system.  Both Rachel & Dave get a bit more nervous as it’s clear to them that they’re just driving through oil fields in the middle of the night.   Dave hopes the driver knows a shortcut and confesses that he wishes they were self-driving at this point.  Rachel rightly disagrees, as it’s the middle of the night!  Suddenly Dave realizes that maybe being in the middle of the oil fields is appropriate as they are going to a temple of fire and the fire has to be fueled by something.  Both realize they’re seemingly in the middle of nowhere until Dave starts to see a bit of civilization return.  Dave reasons that they driver may know where’s going after all and if that’s the case, they’re keeping him.  Rachel explains that they really don’t have a choice either way, as they’re out in the middle of nowhere.

Featured Teams:  Art & JJ, Rachel & Dave

Helping Friends Out:  At the airport ticket counter, Dave comes up to Art & JJ and asks if they had a chance to research Baku yet.  Dave brings it up because in the stuff he’s read, there’s mention of an eternal flame in which people are encouraged to walk around it three times in both directions and then make a wish.  He bets that is where they are headed as it lends itself to something Amazing Race-y.  If the challenge there is to figure out the ancient ritual, he figures they now have a headstart as both teams now know about the three times in both directions thing.  JJ asks what time it opens but Dave doesn’t know.  Talk about over thinking it a little!  He rejoins Rachel back in the line and after a brief pause, she wishes that Dave would be a bit more subtle about his obvious strategizing with Art & JJ.

At the Pit Stop

Featured Team:  Joey & Danny (eliminated)

Leaving With Memories:   Phil gives Danny some grief on why he doesn’t know how to drive stick and Danny reminds him that he’s from New York and only needs an automatic there.  Phil laughs and then asks what Joey & Danny are going to take away from the experience.  Joey appreciates seeing all the places they’ve visited and would happily come back to any of them to properly re-visit them.  Danny agrees as they’ve been places he couldn’t afford to visit on his own, but his main plan is to catch up with Miss Paraguay.  Phil can’t argue with that while Joey chimes in that Miss Azerbaijan (the greeter) isn’t so bad either.  Both laugh leeringly and I can’t tell if she can understand she’s the topic of conversation.  Phil asks her what she thinks of them and she politely smiles and laughs.  That would be my answer, it seems.  Phil explains to her that they’re from New York and immediately Danny gives her a “how ya doin’?”  Phil asks if that’s how it works and Danny just laughs.

Concerning other teams and who they’d like to see win or not win, Danny admits that he thought they really had a chance at pulling off the win.  He’s disappointed.  Both decline to name any team in particular and wish all the teams the best.  Phil is not to be denied and demands that they list one team who should win.  Joey responds that they’ve bonded with Vanessa & Ralph so he’d like to seem them win, but in reality, he thinks Art & JJ actually will win.  

Featured Team:  Vanessa & Ralph (6th place)

Happy To Be Alive:   Phil asks how they’re doing and Vanessa tells him that Ralph has been under the weather for a few days.  It’s why she did the Roadblock.  Ralph tells Phil that he’s had some stomach stuff that caught up with him last night, especially after eating food from so many different countries.  Vanessa admits that with the cold weather and their circumstances leading into the Roadblock, she’s relieved to still be alive even if they’re in sixth place.  She’s grateful to still be in it but is well aware that there’s a lot of room for improvement.

Phil points out that the other teams that have done well have been consistently doing well.  Does that worry them?  Vanessa admits it’s a concern especially with Dave & Rachel and Art & JJ having been 1st or 2nd the entire time.  Yet all they need is to get 3rd place to get into the final leg.  Ralph would love to have just a little bit of luck and Vanessa agrees that their luck has been terrible.  They have no doubt that they can move into the front pack as they have been up there a few times, at least in 3rd or 4th.  Vanessa expects that this precarious finish will light a fire under them to do well the next leg.  

Featured Team:  Nary & Jamie (5th place)

Pick A Number:   Phil asks Jamie what she wants and she loudly declares that she wants to be first!  Nary is reasonable and knows that they didn’t do the Fast Forward, so 2nd would be good too.  Phil has them pick a number.  Jamie insists on 1 but he can’t do that, so Nary picks 2.  He can’t give them 2 either.  Nary goes with 3, which is also not available.  Nary despairingly asks for 4 and Phil again says no.  She can’t believe it wasn’t even 4 and when she asks for 5, Phil gives that to her.  Nary is visibly disappointed but after Phil formally declares them “team number five,” Nary & Jamie happily high-five each other.  Phil is surprised they thought they were so high up and Nary admits that the oil Detour must have been a lot faster than the apple one.

Featured Team:  Bopper & Mark, Brendon & Rachel (3rd & 4th place, respectively)

Bopper’s Honest Assessment:   Phil asks what Bopper thinks of Team Big Brother and he happily declares that they’re awesome.  Phil asks if he knew who they were from Big Brother and Bopper & Mark excitedly tell them that they did know them.  Bopper admits that in the beginning of her second Big Brother season, he couldn’t stand Rachel as all she would do is whine and cry about everything.  Yet Rachel earned his respect as she was a trooper and a fighter and she knew how to play the game.  Rachel thanks him.  Phil wants details about what exactly it was, and I think it’s also to see if Bopper is lying.  Yet Bopper bounces back as he tells Phil that everyone was against her and once they kicked Brendon out of the house, she fought back and won.  He knows his BB!  Rachel tells Phil that is why she loves them as they’re honest and genuine.  She also loves having her ego stroked.  Let’s be honest, this is Rachel (who I admit I can’t help but love, despite being totally insane)!

Featured Team:  Art & JJ (2nd place)

Phil Rubs It In:   Phil recaps the fact that Art & JJ willingly chose to do the oil Detour, knowing full well that it involved scraping oil off another guy.  JJ laughs as when they split up the body parts, Art volunteered to do the inner thighs without hesitation.  Art disputes this account as he claims he was the boss in this challenge and directed JJ to take care of “the junk.”  JJ didn’t recognize Art’s self-proclaimed authority and didn’t know where he got it from.  Phil asks if they got the really hairy guy and they loudly tell him yes.  JJ wasn’t sure if he was scraping off oil or hair, and Phil laughs as he knows that the really hairy guys would get oil trapped within.  Phil agrees that was a major “Valdez” cleanup situation there.  Phil notices that JJ has really white teeth and accuses him of bleaching his teeth beforehand.  JJ denies it but Phil insists that he must have, as they’re gleaming white.  Art piles on and tells Phil that JJ also got Botox and waxed eyebrows.  JJ sadly (and laughingly) tells Art he didn’t come here to be abused.

After the Race

Featured Team:  Brendon & Rachel

Baku Bookoo:   Rachel laughingly explains that they are currently in Azu…Azubarjean Bookoo.  Brendon has a huge grin on his face as she continues because he knows she’s butchering the names.  Rachel laughs and asks how to say Bookoo and Brendon explains it’s Baku. She continues that they’re in Azubahjean and while Brendon laughs again at her, he helpfully tells her that she’s doing better.   Rachel is happy she’s doing better and Brendon is sure that the people of Azubahjoojoo appreciate her efforts.  She thinks that they’re basically in the land of Aladdin, what with getting to be around magic carpets, a magic temple, and also some oil.  Rachel is only missing a genie’s lamp and some wishes, with her first wish being to win the Amazing Race.

Featured Team:  Joey “Fitness” & Danny

Joey “Fitness” & Danny Farewell:   Joey explains that the experience of being on the race is something that can’t be explained and really has to be experienced.  They’ve been to so many different places and he has memories he’ll carry with him for the rest of his life.  Danny tells us that he’s always wanted to go to Italy and Germany and got to see places he never dreamed he’d go to.  Every where they went was truly an “amazing” experience.  Danny bets that the other teams underestimated them and surprised people by lasting for six legs.  He admits that this was the first time he ever asked for directions, which was just one of many new things either he or Joey have done.  Joey thinks their families will be proud as while they were very close to getting eliminated that first leg, they ended up sticking around for six.  It was a great time for both of them.

 Hobie Barnes lives in Santa Monica, California and can’t stop reading the Game of Thrones series of books.  He recently traveled to Turkey, Italy & Greece and can’t wait to see if the places he visited end up on this season of the race.  When not busy fighting the 405 and 101 freeways on the commute to Burbank, he is patiently waiting for an Amazing Race or Survivor scout to cast him!  He can be reached at <a href=”mailto:hobiewan76@gmail.com”>hobiewan76@gmail.com</a>.


Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Since 2001 or so, sharing stuff