Mar 16, 2012, Ep 4: The Real Housewives of Turin?!

The Amazing Race 20 Secret Scenes, Episode 4:  The Real Housewives of Turin!?

While the competition on the race was intriguing, there is an absolute trainwreck’s worth of drama going on that we really don’t see on the show.  At the vortex of most of it are Kerri & Stacy (pictured), who had a feud with the eliminated twins yet now are embroiled with not just drama-magnet Vanessa & Ralph but also with Rachel & Dave.  The cousins insist it isn’t their fault while renaming Vanessa & Ralph a not so flattering term.  And you thought the drama was only going to come from Brendon & Rachel!?  Read on to find out all the gory details while also scoffing at Nary & Jamie’s exhausting efforts to needlessly maintain their teacher charade!

Extra Race Footage

Featured Team:  Rachel & Dave, Joey “Fitness” & Danny

Rachel & Dave Get Busted:   As they drive away from the auto museum, Rachel tells us that after finding the old Ford Model T, they tried to get away without telling any of the other teams where the car was.  They tried to pretend that they were going downstairs to keep looking for the car and Team Jersey followed them down, but Rachel isn’t sure if the ruse worked.  Dave explains that even though they were trying to be tricky, if some other team had asked for help, they probably would have given them help.  Except for green (Brendon & Rachel) and pink (Kerri & Stacy).

Cut to Joey & Danny in their car and Danny points out that to his left are the shady duo of the pilot and his wife (Rachel & Dave).  Danny tells us that he knew Rachel was lying when he asked her if they had found the car as she paused too suspiciously when he asked.  He laughs now because it looks like Rachel & Dave just made a wrong turn which prompts him to spell out k-a-r-m-a.  Joey understands that deception is part of the race, but Joey points out that there is a U-Turn in the race and when someone lies to you, it becomes much easier to use it on them as payback.  

Featured Team:  Dave & Rachel, Art & JJ

Alliance Members Reunite:  At a Paraguay airport food court, Art & JJ happily reunite and hug Rachel & Dave after having not seen each other for a while.  Art & JJ ask what happened and Dave tells them about their new record of the only team ever to have not completed any challenge in a leg of the race and still remain in.  Dave blames his head on his inability to balance at least one of the 50 bottles from the previous Roadblock.  JJ asks if Dave thought they were through at that point but Dave & Rachel tell him that they had been only 10 minutes behind them for second place.  Rachel talks about their disaster with the watermelon stacking and how they got to the ninth level and it all collapsed.  Dave mentions that even with the two-hour penalty, they were still almost second place.   Rachel is pretty sure that no other team actually ever finished the watermelon challenge but Dave points out that Jersey Shore did.  Art asks about the harp Detour option and Dave & Rachel explain that everyone else had managed to catch up so they used their Express Pass then and there.

 Featured Team:  Vanessa & Ralph

Do Not Mess With Her Man:  Before starting their leg, Vanessa tells us that she may have been a bit rough with the Mississippi team (Kerri & Stacy) the night before.  Everyone may think that Ralph is the mean one, but that’s not the case, as she is actually the one not to mess with.  If you talk smack about her man, you will have to deal with her and that is why she got into it with Kerri & Stacy.  Vanessa admits that she had been cranky due to a stressful and tiring leg but she won’t deny that she doesn’t like the girls and thinks they’re trashy.  Ralph has asked her to be cordial at least and Vanessa doesn’t see any point in even talking with them, which suits Ralph  just fine.  Vanessa tells us that her initial impression of the girls was a bad one, but she talked with them once and got to like them, but last night returned her to a negative state.

Ralph tells us that his problem was that Kerri & Stacy were trying to conspire and bring external people into the race by causing problems getting off the plane.  He wants to race against the teams, not have to deal with people who have nothing to do with the race.  Ralph doesn’t think they’re bad people, but he doesn’t like the way they’re racing.  

Vanessa says that her problem is that on the mat last night with Phil, Kerri & Stacy were trying to blast Ralph for blocking them out and playing the poor lil’ me card and Vanessa isn’t buying that act at all.  She knows they’re ghetto and as soon as she says that, Ralph gets exasperated at her for having gone there.  Vanessa apologizes but still can’t get over how Kerri & Stacy characterized Ralph when all he was doing was helping a woman with a baby get her luggage from the overhead.  

Featured Team:  Kerri & Stacy

Vanessa & Ralph’s New Name:  Before the leg starts, Stacy tells us that the twins’ elimination yesterday was the best news she’d heard since sliced bread.  I don’t think that metaphor is meant to be used that way, but let’s continue.  Kerri & Stacy decide to blow the twins a kiss and do so.  They laugh for a little and Kerri loves that they’re gone as the twins (Elliot & Andrew) were so ugly to them for no reason.  She thinks the twins had it out for them and were always thinking that they were manly men but in the end they ended up eliminating themselves.  Kerri thinks karma is a you know what.

Moving on, VaRalphasaurus Rex (Vanessa & Ralph) is the latest pain in their badonkadonk (which they manage to say in a coordinated fashion).  Kerri really needs them to be the next to go as they make them sick. She’s not worrying about having to see them again as there’s no doubt Vanessa & Ralph will be behind them this entire leg.   Stacy doesn’t want to even engage with them as it would be distasteful.  She just wants them gone as they’re ugly and she doesn’t want them to even be around her pretty little braids or Kerri’s pretty curls (their words, not mine).  Neither want to deal with the negativity that Vanessa & Ralph bring to the race as she & Kerri are here to see the world and have a good time.  Kerri thinks VaRalphasaurus is a great name as Ralph is a caveman and treats Vanessa like property.  She reminds us that “girls rule, boys drool” although she takes back the “boys drool” part.  

Featured Team:  Brendon & Rachel

Not Worth the Fight:  As they drive through Turin, Brendon tells us that his plan is to just finish the leg and then it’ll be time for he & Rachel to figure out if they want to continue on at all.  He doesn’t like giving up but he also hates fighting and this experience is causing a huge strain on their relationship.  It’s not worth a million dollars to Brendon and he mentions that if Rachel figures this is the end of their relationship, then that’s what he guesses will happen.  Brendon is surprised at how different the experience turned out to be as they both had imagined it would be a fun tour of the world, yet it’s been a stressful and friendless experience.  Some of the girls are b**ches and some of the guys are ego-driven maniacs.   Rachel chimes in that Jeff & Jordan told them that the people weren’t as mean as they were on Big Brother, but so far the girls have made fun of her weight and clothes, so it really isn’t that nice out on the race.

Brendon tries to say that he doesn’t care what they say, but of course Rachel takes that as an attack.  He explains himself but also tells us that Rachel takes these comments from others personally and gets her feelings hurt.  Brendon continues that his life isn’t about money, it’s about his PhD and finding a cure for cancer.  He’s never seen a good thing come out of competing for money as it turns people into nasty, conniving versions of themselves.   Brendon observes that you can see the worst, and sometimes the best, of human beings when money is involved.  

At the Pit Stop

Featured Team:  Mark & Bopper (eighth place, not eliminated), Art & JJ (first place)

Doing it for Kentucky:   Bopper is sobbing at the mat explaining to Phil that he is not racing for himself, he’s racing for his child.   Bopper knows that their children deserve better but he lived in a place where a coal processing plant decided to set up shop.  Usually people with more money than you get their way and that’s why he’s here on the race, as it will end up as a chance to change up their lives.  He thanks Phil for the non-elimination and Phil is just happy to have been able to give some good news.  Phil thinks that Art & JJ are just as thrilled that Mark & Bopper are still in the race too.  They will be good competition and they provide lots of good laughs.  Phil points out that Art & JJ have just given Mark & Bopper some money and now they have to race against them still.  Neither Art or JJ have any regrets about that and would do it again anytime.

Featured Team: Kerri & Stacy (seventh place)

Kerri & Stacy Miss Home:  Kerri tells Phil how hard the race is especially with the fact that both of their husbands are only about an hour away from where they are right now.  Phil is shocked to find this out and Kerri tells him that they’re playing basketball in Venice.  Phil asks his Pit Stop greeter if he knows which way Venice is so that the girls can blow a kiss in the right direction.  The greeter has no idea so they just decide to face north and blow their kisses along with warm wishes.  Phil insists that the girls need a hug from the greeter which is accompanied by kisses on each cheek.

Stacy wants Phil to know that she isn’t a crybaby but she is a real person and she has two kids at home that she misses.  Kerri explains that they know this is a fun trip and that they’re extremely grateful but it is still a sacrifice to leave their families behind.  Stacy adds that it becomes even more hard when there are other people talking trash about you and making the race a negative experience.  Kerri points out that today she chimed in on a group conversation and Vanessa just walked off.  Kerri couldn’t believe someone would do that.  It went from being a fun game to something completely full of drama.  Phil asks if they want to quit and Stacy emphatically says no and that she intends to win the race since she gave up being with her kids.

Featured Team:  Brendon & Rachel (sixth place)

Green Cow Saves the Day:  Rachel tells Phil that it’s crucial that they focus on their own race and ignore what the other teams are doing.  If they focus on everyone else, that’s when she & Brendon break down.  Both Brendon & Rachel realize that they can get carried away with the competitive aspect of things.  Phil mentions that it seems Rachel has admitted to behaving poorly and asks if there’s anything Brendon thinks he could do better.  Brendon realizes that both he & Rachel have to learn to stop the cycle of bickering because once it starts, they never figure out how to deal with it and stop it.  It throws off their game and is of no use to anyone.

Phil interrupts Brendon when he sees a man in a green cow outfit walk by and thinks that that’s a surefire way to have fun.  It is a surreal sight as the green cow man is leading another guy dressed as the Flash who is leading a woman dressed as a goddess.  Phil is amused by the randomness and then points out that Rachel is also wearing green so there’s got to be a connection.  Rachel will take it as a sign that they weren’t eliminated.  Brendon tells Phil that they are competitors even if their back is against the wall.  In the previous leg, they came from the back to reach second place but today they stumbled.  They’ll learn from it, hold on, and come through.  

Phil asks if they think that there will be people who upon learning Brendon & Rachel are on the show will be exasperated that once again, these people from Big Brother are on TV.  They both laugh and admit that some people will definitely be sick of seeing them but there are definitely supporters out there too.  Phil asks what they say to those who are tired of them and Rachel immediately mentions that they’re trying real hard and Brendon adds they are going to win this as they can fight harder than anyone else in the race.

Featured Team:  Nary & Jamie (fifth place)

Teachers in Turin:  Nary & Jamie tell Phil that they’re feeling good and that they’re having a blast so far.  Jamie loves the people and scenery of Turin and Phil asks if that includes attractive men in Turin.  Jamie laughs and points at Nary as she wants to hook Nary up with someone.  Phil senses a mission so he asks if Nary is looking.  She says she’s not looking but Jamie chimes in that she’s looking for her.  Phil is suspicious and asks if Nary really wouldn’t like it if an attractive Italian man expressed interest.  Jamie chimes in again and says that she’ll make sure to handle any connections because Nary won’t.

Phil asks about Jamie’s relationship status and finds out that she’s engaged.  He asks what the fiancee will be thinking and Jamie knows that he’ll be wishing them the best and also hoping that they win a honeymoon at the least.  Phil asks if finishing in the middle of the pack is a way to keep people from targeting them.  Jamie smiles knowingly and jokes that yes, this is all part of their master plan.  She admits that they’ve been trying their hardest but the race is no joke.  It’s not surprising to her as it is a race for a million dollars.

Featured Team:  Joey “Fitness” & Danny (third place)

Danny’s Promise:  Phil remarks upon Danny’s facial hair as he is starting to grow out a beard.  Joey laughs at Danny’s attempts to grow it out as he’s never grown it out before.  Danny points out to Phil that once he shaved off his mustache, they came in third.  So he’s not messing with superstition so while he’s keeping the mustache clean, everything else is growing in.   Joey pledges that if they can finish in first place, he’ll shave Danny’s head.  Danny accepts the pledge and lets Phil know that he even brought along a pair of clippers to do the job.  That pledge even gets a raised Phil eyebrow!  Phil asks why they’d agree to do that and Joey explains that they’re New Yorkers, they do crazy things.  Heyyyy!  Phil asks if they’re hungry for Italian food yet and Danny admits to being ready for some spaghetti while Joey jokes that Danny prefers sausage.  Rim shot!  A moment later Danny gets the joke and shoves Joey away.  A few more sexual innuendos follow and awkwardness ensues for all.

Featured Team:  Art & JJ (first place)

Art & JJ Flying High:  Art & JJ recap for Phil who was flying and who was the landing pad in their Fast Forward adventures.  Phil confesses that many of the crew, including him, tried the challenge and discovered it was very hard.  Phil is curious how they determined who would do what, and JJ explains that Art and his son play video games all the time, so the flying naturally fell to Art.  Especially since JJ hasn’t played video games since Ms. Pac Man, which gets a laugh out of Phil as this revelation dates JJ more than anything.

Phil contemplates their second first place finish (in a row) and then asks if they’ve had a chance to really take in this beautiful city of Turin that they’re in.  JJ thinks every building in the city looks old, historic, and beautiful.  Art is amazed by the architecture and the beautiful scenery.  Phil asks if either of them are Italian and Art confirms that he’s got some from his father’s side.  Phil tells the greeter and an immediate Italian hug commences.  Art isn’t positive where in Italy his ancestors were from, but he knows it’s down near the boot in Sicily.  

After the Race

Featured Team:  Dave & Rachel, Kerri & Stacy

Cousins vs. Major Dave:  Dave recalls a moment when they were in Sao Paolo with Art & JJ at a travel agent desk and Stacy (from Kerri & Stacy) inserted herself ahead of them.  Art told her that there was a line and Stacy mentioned in a sarcastic manner that she was aware there was a line.  During this time, Dave had been okay with the whole situation and hadn’t said anything.  The moment that an agent became available, Stacy didn’t hesitate and tried to jump ahead of them.  That’s when Dave reminded her about common courtesy.  He & Rachel start to laugh while remembering this as Stacy next asked if Dave was “trying to check her.”  Dave pointed out to her that he wasn’t the right guy to try to pull that kind of stunt on.  He had also heard that she had spoken that way to Elliot & Andrew on the previous leg.  She then went on a tirade in front of both him & Rachel.

Cut to Kerri & Stacy now to get their view of what happened!  We find ourselves in the heat of the story as both Kerri & Stacy are indignant that Dave didn’t have any right to be demanding things of anyone as he doesn’t know them enough to treat them like that.  Stacy thinks Dave is a coward and is embarrassed that he represents her in the military.  What?  Stacy could almost understand if a woman had acted like that.  She recalls that when she was waiting at the agency, Dave immediately told her that her little games weren’t going to work on him and he wasn’t going to be intimidated like the twins were.  Stacy considers herself verbally abused by what he did and notices the way that Dave treats Rachel in front of other people.  She would never stand for being treated with no respect like that.  Kerri & Stacy didn’t realize they were on Amazing Race: Housewives as all the men are acting like women.  Who knows what the heck really happened!?

Featured Team:  Mark & Bopper

Kentucky Still Strong:  Mark & Bopper are quite enthusiastic and insisting that all the other teams need to know that they are in this to win this.  “If we could have found our way around today, we probably could have done real good” is what Mark says, and of course, that’s the key to the race.  And that’s what they didn’t do.  Mark continues that the tasks themselves were nothing, it was just that they couldn’t find them.  Bopper tells us that everywhere they’ve been so far, it has been extreme foreign languages.  What?  Spanish and Italian are extreme?  Not quite.  He alleges that everyone else knew those languages too and that they’re the only ones who didn’t.  Again, what?  Bopper is sure that once they’re in a place where no one knows the language, it will be a level playing field and Mark & Bopper will be first place.  Mark insists that they dominated all the challenges and the big problem was just getting to them.

Featured Team:  Nary & Jamie

Undercover Teachers:  Jamie tells us that she has had quite a few experiences in undercover operations as she doesn’t have the look of a federal agent.  No one expects it so she’s been able to do things like purchase guns undercover.  She admits she has to be quick on her feet now though as the other teams have been asking unexpected questions about their submission video and what the classroom kids said in it.   Her tactic to reassert control of the line of questioning is to make up something and then immediately put the questions back on them.  Personally, their performance hasn’t been that great so it doesn’t seem like all this subterfuge is really worth going through.  Jamie tells us that they both have to make sure to keep their stories straight and pay attention to what the other has been telling people.  This behavior is just foolish and seems like such a waste of energy.  Nary laughs at the stories she’s had to come up with that were generic enough not to contradict anything Jamie may have said.

Featured Team:  Art & JJ

Passport Crisis Averted:  JJ tells us that on the plane, Art had noticed that there were two passports just laying on the seat nearby.  They were the teachers’ (Nary & Jamie) passports, and Jamie was crestfallen as to the fact that they had been out of their control when Art gave them to her.  Nary came walking up the aisle and Jamie asked where their passports were and Nary told her that she had them, but Jamie clarified that no, she had them.  JJ realizes that if they hadn’t returned the passports to them, Nary & Jamie would have been basically disqualified.

Phil had asked Art & JJ if they would have done the same thing if it was the final leg.  JJ says yes but Art says that he probably would have just left the passports alone and once at customs, if Nary & Jamie were looking for them, he’d point out where he saw them last at that time.  Art reasons that the team would incur a delay but it wouldn’t disqualify them.  Thinking about it now though, JJ remembers that right after giving back the passports, they looked at each other and realized they were idiots for being so nice.  They don’t believe in karma, but having done the right thing, God’s grace shined as they got first, won $10000, and got the Fast Forward.  

Hobie Barnes lives in Santa Monica, California and can’t stop reading the Game of Thrones series of books.  He recently traveled to Turkey, Italy & Greece and can’t wait to see if the places he visited end up on this season of the race.  When not busy fighting the 405 and 101 freeways on the commute to Burbank, he is patiently waiting for an Amazing Race or Survivor scout to cast him!  He can be reached at <a href=””></a>.


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