Survivor: Palau

Hobie's Take on Season 10 of this amazing series!

Ep5: Most Painful Episode Ever

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Bobby Jon







Someone grab the lube, cause there's gonna be some fuc-, uh, I mean, someone's getting screwed

You know, it really can't get much worse for the Ulong tribe. Seriously, this is the worst I've ever seen a tribe do in terms of performance as well as in terms of what has been done to it. Not only was it bad enough to see Ulong lose, again, and only because of one major failure on the part of Ibrehem, but that heinous tribal council. I mean, talk about rubbing salt in the wounds. They first have to watch those bastards Koror eat food and talk all loud about it, then they have to watch their plans, their easy plans, of getting rid of Ibrehem utterly annihilated, and they have to vote out one of their own, one of their most valuable tribemembers: Angie. Oh well. I really wanted her to go far, and I thought she had a good chance.She looked like she was ready to go at some level, although I'm fairly certain if she had lasted she would have gone as far as she could have. There's really not many people I care for; really, only Stephenie and Bobby Jon hold any bit of my favor.

The Complete Failure of Ibrehem

One messup, Ibrehem? I beg to differ. You have never been an asset to the tribe during any of the immunity challenges. I'll give you your one point during the sumo challenge...but that's it. While I was talking to Byron during the show, for some reason I called it right as Ibrehem went in to the water: "Watch how he'll puss out and lose it right here" And he did. I so wanted to be wrong. And I so wasn't. I couldn't believe his self-righteousness at tribal council either. Maybe it was a last ditch effort to come across as a victim, and he must have known to play it up for Koror, anticipating maybe something crazy was going to happen. And sure enough, Koror picked up that Ibrehem was on the outs, and kept him there to make sure Ulong's suffering continued. Smart move on Koror's part, but agonizing to watch. Ugh.

The Tribal Council(s) of Doom

Was it too difficult or sad to see that Willard was getting voted off? No. Who cares.

I was a little intrigued at the scheming going on at Koror though, with the Gregg-Jen pair looking to take out Tom and Ian, eventually joining up with Janu and Coby. I don't think Coby will be able to keep this to himself though, and he'll try to double-scheme Gregg, methinks. It's going to be difficult for Coby not to - he'll feel like he has power at his disposal and to wield. Hopefully the drama will blow up over at Koror.

And of course, back to Tribal Council, we saw the most brutal one ever. Plus, a tie? That's like so Season 4 in Marquesas. Ever since the tie and the resulting Purple Rock of Death, there's been NO ties. Amazing. And have these reward challenges not been exceedingly extravagant? When Ulong won them, they were just sewing kits and fishing gear. When Koror wins them, they get a new shelter and the ability to fuck with Ulong and eat in front of them. Doesn't seem balanced, does it? I still am going to keep watching this show, but geez, this has been one of the most brutal seasons ever.

Final Thoughts

Another Wednesday episode next week, don't forget. I'm sure there'll be some more Ulong blood spilled, some yelling at Ibrehem (who I'm guessing will be self-righteous anyways), and Janu getting all snivvelly. Quit your whining and play Survivor!

Other's Thoughts:

C-Money speaks - It's On....:

Man! I almost forgot about Survivor being on Wednesday... Thanks God my hubby reminded me. I would have been devastated.

More love stories going on... Jeez people, it's not the f-ing love connection. It's Survivor! Ulong decides to go for a safari in the middle of the night. Looks like a good time in the jungle tonight! (and why does it ALWAYS have to rain at night, never during the day???)

So we are beginning to see some people in the Koror tribe not doing anything (Willard... old guy...) I'd really like to see them go to tribal council. Has Willard ever competed in a challenge? I think he's sat out every one.

A voting challenge, but no swaps. Ulong starts out strong and then the talker... Ibrahem, can't come up with a bottle. What a disgrace! I'm so disappointed in him. I'm glad to see Ian, the water guy (doesn't he work with dolphins???) have a problem. And Ulong has a chance, but still does not win. I have a feeling that Ibrahem is outta there, don't you??? He says nothing and is only strong when he needs to be. The ladies sure are holding Ulong together, but for what?

The most this man speaks the whole time, and I really think he's gone. Ibrahem, you look like you could take on the world, but you just are so... I don't know. Then we move on to Koror. Willard, yes, it's you on your way out. And please, CBS, PLEASE stop showing Coby in his speedos. My gawd, it hurts! I think that "Ken" (quote from Coby) is playing Coby. Tom ain't going anywhere. This chick's (Jen) laugh is getting on my nerves. Her flirty laugh. Making my skin crawl.

It's amazing, when Koror gets to the tribal council, the eye rolling that is going on. We all know it's going to be Willard, but it's good to see eyes roll for others when their names are brought up... Pretty cruel to have Koror eating while poor Ulong has to go through the pain of tribal council again. My heart goes out to them, Jeff is especially cruel this time. It would have been nice if Koror didn't "rub it in", but you know, Ian sure is an ass about that. He started doing a dance and singing. Just mean. I wonder how he would have felt on the other side? My thing is, what kind of information does Koror expect to get from Ulong during this council? Like, you already knew that they are struggling. They are upset, they are frustrated.

Now there's a twist. Voting for immunity to keep someone there? And Katie votes for Ibrahem. Has she even been at the challenges??? Dumb broad. I'm at a loss for words. The people from this tribe have bigger hearts than heads. They don't know that Ibrahem is not really involved in the tribe. They don't know anything about Ulong and how it is back at the camp and 3 of them vote for Ibrahem. Well, we know Katie, I'll also bet Caryn and Coby too.

I am speechless again. They voted out one of the strongest people on their tribe. Angie, you were AWESOME and probably the most inspiring Survivor players I've seen in a while.

I'm outta here. Next Thursday is my birthday! I'll be 25!!! Send money and I'll be sending my inputs to you Hobie!!!

Squirrel's Comments - Ep 5:

Dear Hobie,

I'm so very angry!

Overall assessment...
Show's fate in jury deliberation.


Ok, now that I'm done being really pissed off, here's what I think...

I'm getting a little tired of the lopsided way they (the show) are setting up challenges and rewards. As Hobie says, they seem to be all or nothing when Koror wins but trivial when Ulong wins.

Tonight's episode in point. To have the other tribe there, and to have them eat in front of you, and to have them give immunity as a reward is over the top torture. Of course the other team is going to see who they're going to vote off and protect that person because it weakens the other team they are in direct competition with. It forces a strong person to be voted off.

Ibrehem is a f***ing slug. Everyone knows it. Yes, we did judge you on past performance and found you lacking there too. You're a quitter and although you're no Oston, you're right up there in my book. Ta da, you have immunity. Yeah, that's a fair.

Now I know life is not fair normally but the rules are created by the producers/writers of this show. To me, they went out of there way to make it unfair. It was to much. I could handle it better if James or even Bobby John were voted off but Angie!!! She and Steph are the only ones winning it for you. Of course there's no merge and that little flip comment at the end about "you're still a tribe and amazingly, you still believe it" made me want to choke the life out of Jeff. You know what, F U Jeff and all the writers that thought up this little gem!

I can't stop being angry about this episode! I should dump it like I dumped Pokerstars!

So why should I even bother watching this any longer?


She's the only other one I care about. I wish nothing but evil upon the heads of the show's writers and producers. I wish nothing but bad luck upon Koror. Is that the reaction you wanted to get out of your audience you f***ing bastards? Well you succeeded. If Steph, who's competitive enough to kill Oston - um Ibrehem, in his sleep, can make it to the final 4 then I won't have to dump this show forever. If she's out one episode before that, I will be as done with Survivor as I am with on-line poker.

(The very ANGRY squirrel has spoken!)

Counterpoint -> Linus:

Ok, I've been quiet up until now but I can't take anymore of this poor Ulong Bull SH*&! Ulong is NOT losing because the writers/producers are making the show unfair, they are losing because they refuse to function as a tribe. Now usually I am one to root for the underdog but I just can't with Ulong. They were the strongest tribe. They were the younger tribe. They should have been winning BUT they aren't. This tribe fell apart the day they voted out Jolanda and no one else stepped into the leadership role, Period end Dot! To prove this all you have to do is look at the underwater challenge when they had to pull a trunk. Ulong had a decent lead, thanks to Willard, but as soon as Koror caught up and pulled ahead, half of Ulong quit (some never started)! Not good enough? Look at this last challenge then. As soon as Ibrehem screwed up they suddenly weren't pulling as fast as they were before. They didn't pick up the pace again until Ian had some trouble but not only did Ian at least get a bottle but his team had enough confidence to let him go right back again. Koror plays as a tribe people! Obviously they have some division in Koror (as we finally got to see) but they come together as a tribe at challenges. Come one Ulong couldn't even pick a leader last week. What did they do? The went "fishing" aka relaxing on the water. How can you root for a tribe this disorganized, this lazy and this stupid? I'm sorry but I say good riddance, although I am sad that Angie is gone but at least we won't have to see her in that postage stamp of a bathing suit she liked to wear everywhere.

Now for this crap about the producers giving better rewards to Koror, are you really serious? The tribes know what the rewards are BEFORE they compete. The only argument that Hobie had that I could concede, but don't believe, is that the tribes didn't know that the winning tribe would be voting for a member of the winning tribe to get immunity. Plausible that the producers could have said to do this only if Koror wins but come on, really now. CBS wants one thing and one thing only and that is viewers and most people (obvious on Hobie's site alone) do not want to see one tribe win all of the time and totally dominate the other tribe. Heck even though I refuse to feel sorry for oh poor Ulong I am tired of seeing them at tribal council.

For those of you that hate Jeff Probst, consider this: The rumor is that Jeff is going to be replaced by Ryan Seacrest! Now I ask you, what do you think about Jeff Probst now? Can you imagine Survivor with Ryan Seacrest? First we would get 10 mins of actual video of the survivors and the rest of the time we would get nothing but Seacrest! Now that would make me quit watching. Besides, Jeff is supposed to be an ass to these guys. He is supposed to get them to start talking and he is supposed to call them out in front of everyone. Come on, who didn't love it when Jeff called out Jeff and Kim or better yet when he asked Kim what good she was doing sitting on the boat when the tribe was out "fishing"? It's those comments that make tribal council so great.

Ok, now I don't disagree with everything that was said about this week's episode. I do believe that it was completely wrong of Koror to act the way that they did when they got to eat in front of Ulong. I will say, however, that had Ulong won and acted the very same way each and everyone one of you would have said how great it was for them to do that to Koror. Why is this? Well simply because Ulong has been on such a losing streak that had they won everyone would be happy to see Koror "get a taste of their own medicine". I do believe though, that Koror would have handled it better on the losing end then Koror did. Why then do I feel that Koror was wrong in acting the way they did? Well simply because they have already crushed Ulong, now they are simply just rubbing "salt into the wound". I was especially disappointed with Ian. His actions were especially rude and just not right. Koror will eventually have to turn on itself and then they will get theirs so don't despair, turn about will happen.

Finally, I think Koror did the right thing by giving Ibrehem the immunity. Why? Simply because they further divided the tribe they are competing against and by keeping the obvious person that was going home they now caused even more dissention and mistrust in their competition. That's right, Koror is competing against them so why should they do the "right thing"? Besides, Koror is at the challenges. They see that the women are pulling more weight than the guys (especially Ibrehem) so why not keep him there. You don't actually believe that Koror should do anything other than help weaken the other team any more do you?

Love it or hate it that's my take.




CBS Official Site: Ep5 - Still have to say that CBS is providing some amazing supplemental stuff to watch online, if you have a broadband connection that is. Visit and enjoy!

Ep5: Twistin' the Night Away (RNO) - Episode Recap

Why Willard Lost (RNO)

Why Angie Lost (RNO)

Strategic Overview of Survivor: Votes, Votes, Votes (RNO)

March Sadness (RNO) - A tearful goodbye letter to dearly departed Angie