A Big Brother 4 x 4

BB18 Episode 1 – June 22, 2016

Well, well, well, we are BACK!  CBS felt extra generous this week as we got 2 hours this first episode and I think there’s another 2 hours tonight.  I accidentally typed 22 hours and realized I both loved and hated that idea.

I don’t have nearly enough time to run down the contestants in this post as I’d like to get to watching tonight’s episode, but I’m not blind and I AM gay, so let’s hit up the important stuff first:

Let’s Meet PAULIE:

BB18_Ep1_Pauliesoccer BB18_Ep1_PaulieSoccer2You may see him and be reminded of a previous contestant, and that’s because he’s the smokin’ hot brother of smokin’ hot Cody, from Season 16:

BB18_Ep1_HeyThereCody BB18_Ep1_HeyThereCody2So yeah, this’ll be a great season.

We also have another hit of hotness in the form of Baseball Coach (in my pants) Corey:

BB18_Ep1_HeyyyCorey BB18_Ep1_CoreyIsShockedHesSoHot BB18_Ep1_HeyyyCorey2Yeah, this is awesome.  More to come in this recap, trust.

And oh yeah, you’re not fooling anyone, Tiffany:

BB18_Ep1_TiffanyISVanessasSisterEvery time you spoke all I could HEAR was Vanessa and when you look at her, give her blonde hair and she’s a carbon copy.  You’re so Vanessa’s sister.  I loved DaVonne’s DR session in which she was like, “I see you little Poker Player, Hi Vanessa’s Sister!”  Love DaVonne.  But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Let the Games Begin!

BB18_Ep1_OurHouseguestsAwaitWe did get a bunch of these 12 houseguest’s stories and such, and maybe we’ll get into in tomorrow’s post.  But there’s plenty of character for days, so we shouldn’t be bored.  And as long as Corey and Paulie hang out for a few months, I’m good.  But guess what!  12 isn’t the regular # of houseguests, is it?

BB18_Ep1_Stowaways

As Julie tells us, there’s THREE Twists this summer (thus far), and the FIRST TWIST is that there’s FOUR Stowaways in the house this year, and they each emerge in turn from this suitcase arrangement after letting the houseguests think about this twist first

Nicole, from Season 16, enters first, happily single and over Hayden.  Alrighty then.  James from Season 17 follows, and I myself can’t wait for more pranks.  I NEED PRANKS.  The next to emerge is DaVonne, also from Season 17.  Her sass will be appreciated but it’ll be interesting to see if she can keep her personality in check.  Finally, Frank from Season 14 enters, and it took me a while to remember who he was as his hair is fairly different, and it’s been 5 years.

Long story short, all the newbies are over the vets before they’ve been for like 10 minutes, which the Vets are clearly aware of. That theme remained throughout the rest of the episode, and it’s going to be an uphill climb for the vets to process.  There’s PLENTY of opportunity though, as not everybody is as petty as the Mean Girls clique of Paul, Zakiyah, and Jozea that formed almost immediately.

We Want Twists!

BB18_Ep1_TheWholeCastBut the Vets’ fate is quite up in the air as Julie introduces TWIST NUMBER TWO posthaste….as at least in this point of the game, everyone’s gonna be playing in teams – teams of 4 to be exact.

BB18_Ep1_OnFindingOutThereAreTeamsEveryone is shocked while Corey remains ridiculously hot throughout it all.  How DOES he do it?

The First Challenge of the Summer

BB18_Ep1_JulieandtheFirstChallengeThe teams get picked after everyone heads out for the first challenge, and it’s a schoolyard pick with the captains being the veterans.  So they’re split up – for better or for worse.  I’ll spare the drama of the pick as well as the inane naming deliberations, but the teams end up being:

Category 4:  Frank, Michelle, Paulie, Bridgette
Big Sister:  DaVonne, Paul, Zakiyah, Jozea
Team Unicorn:  James, Natalie, Victor, Bronte
Freakazoids:  Nicole, Corey, Tiffany, Glenn

The first challenge is pretty big for the teams.  Whichever team lasts the longest on the rocket gets to win immunity from eviction for the next two evictions.  That first eviction will be within the 2-night premiere, so that’s really fucking soon.  The 2nd place team gets to split $10k, 3rd place gets a Mystery punishment, and 4th place are the Have Nots.

BB18_Ep1_OntheRockets BB18_Ep1_Comp1_FallingRockets BB18_Ep1_Comp1_CoreyOnHisRocketThere was lots of inappropriate sitting, but it was okay.  Especially when Corey was the last one on the rocket for Nicole’s team and he was straddling that rocket somethin’ fierce.  Ooooh lordy, lordy, I need to fan myself.

BB18_Ep1_Comp1_VictorvsCorey BB18_Ep1_Comp1_Corey2Even though by these pictures you’d think Corey ended up winning, alas he didn’t, and Victor won.  I can’t say I find Victor unattractive, but with Corey right there, my fixation will remain in place.  So Corey, as well as all of James’ team, are safe from eviction for two times!

Competition #2 – Round 1: Sandcastles in the Sorta-Sky

Alright, so there were a lot of competitions this night.  We find out TWIST NUMBER THREE at this point, which is that there will be 3 rounds of play in this competition.  Each round, a team will win and then be safe.  The third round will be that final losing team having to compete amongst itself – whoever then loses that competition is eliminated.  The twist though?  Of those remaining 3 houseguests, one of them will be HoH!  I immediately saw some strategic potential here for a schemer to think about making it so your team loses all the rounds so you can make it to the HoH comp.  You just have to trust in yourself that you’re better than the other members of your team.  That’s the part that I think most people were wary of at this early stage in the game, so it was best to just get safe.

BB18_Ep1_Comp2_Round1 BB18_Ep1_Comp2_Round1_soclose BB18_Ep1_Comp2_Round1_WinnersSo basically, the three competing teams had to have 3 of the members hold up a platform by ropes, with the fourth member stacking a sand block to make a castle.  That fourth member rotates amongst the team, so you have to then take a rope from someone so that person can then put a block on the pyramid.  Nicole’s team, the Freakazoids, were sooooo close for the longest time but couldn’t get their pyramid to stay stable enough for the very last block.  Eventually, Frank’s team, Category 4, pulls off the win after many collapses amongst all the teams.  That means Freakazoids and Big Sister has to compete in the 2nd round, and DaVonne is pissed.  She has no idea how much trouble she is in either, as the Mean Girls alliance ended up all on her team too, and she, along with the other Vets, are their damn targets.  Girl, you in danger.  Plus, she hates Paul, and the feeling is likewise.  DaVonne, here’s hoping you could go longer than being second out again!

Round 2!  Sandcastles of my Heart

I figured they’d go immediately into Round 2 of the competition, but it wasn’t just another round of the above competition.  So while the studio was setting up what was next, everyone was chilling and talking and Michelle immediately knew Tiffany was Vanessa’s sister.  Tiffany thinks about hiding it, but does admit it to just Michelle.  This reveal is much different than when Paulie panics and decides to fess up that he’s Cody’s brother after the Vets come in to the house.  Needless to say, that was a needle-scratch moment and he needs to pray he can get past that or else he’s another easy target.  But enough of that drama, let’s have another comp!

BB18_Ep1_Comp3_Sandcastles BB18_Ep1_Comp3_SandCastles2 BB18_Ep1_Comp3_FreakazoidsLoseIt was a big 3D-puzzle to solve, and it was important to note that not every piece was going to be used, and that there were different finishes on the windows that had to match.  Alas, the teams had a rough time of this one too, but in the end, Big Sister pulled off the win.  Freakazoids just never gelled and the brain trust there is pretty small, with Glenn kvetching about not being listened to, Corey being hot but perhaps not a strategic genius, and apparently Tiffany not getting her share of the Vanessa family brains. And Nicole, well, Nicole is sweet.

BB18_Ep1_NicoleLeaving.Nicole is rightfully worried she’s on her way out.   This first eviction doesn’t seem to be vote-based, so if she can just do better than everybody else she’ll make it.  But man, that would sting for her if she does lose.  IT FUCKING BETTER NOT BE COREY GOING HOME TONIGHT.

Status & Standings:

BB18_Ep1_Standings

Safe from Eviction During the Next 2 Evictions:  Team Unicorn
$10k Amongst the Team:  Freakazoids
Mystery Punishment:  Category 4
Have Nots for the Week:  Big Sister
Team on the Chopping Block:  Freakazoids

We’ll see tonight which of the Freakazoids gets sent packing first.  Nicole would be a stunning one, Corey would be a devastating one, Tiffany would be an embarrassing one, while Glenn would not be surprising.  It’ll also be interesting to see which of these is going to be the new HoH too.  Come on, Corey!

Next, we get a new HoH and say goodbye to a Freakazoid –>

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